peristaltor: (Default)
Dictionary Word of the Day confirmed something I had long suspected. Consider today's entry:

afflatus (uh-FLAY-tuhs) noun; 1. A divine imparting of knowledge; inspiration.

Pay careful attention to the root of that word. I have considered forever that one's opinions and works are produced by the brain in a fashion similar to the process that takes food and makes growth, life and strength . . . and everything else. With some of us, witness the beauty of our works and marvel; with others . . . heck, with most of us . . . witness the unpompinscribed version of that word:

flatus (FLAY-tuhs) noun; 1. Gas in or from the stomach or intestines, produced by swallowing air or by bacterial fermentation.

If you haven't divined the action described above, a hint: it takes flatus to produce flatulence.

Would that make evidence of divine inspiration "afflatulence?" "What started me to this epic poem on the origin of the flush toilet? Ah, just chalk it up to afflatulence."

Hmmm. . . .
peristaltor: (Default)
I came across some new words from, of course, a book concerning the writing of the Oxford English Dictionary.

Sesquipedilian: adj. Describing long words and expressions; lengthiness (literally "a foot and a half long");

Abusion: n. a perversion of the truth;

Autopeotomy: n. the removal of one's own penis.


Also, perhaps someone familiar with the idioms of the United Kingdom could explain exactly which portion of a well-established beard I emphasize in the following excerpt:

But what was most obviously similar about the men were their beards -- in both cases white, long, and nicely swallow-tailed -- with thick moustaches, sideburns and ample buggers' grips. (Winchester, The Professor and the Madman, 1999, HarperPerennial, p. 177)

Really, I love the imagery; but I would hate to grow the wrong section of facial hair only to be dismissed and rejected as without proper grips by the first discriminating buggerer that traipses along. . . .

The horror. . . .
peristaltor: (Default)
In 1980, I traveled for the first time to a real foreign country, Mexico (as opposed to a sort-of foreign Canada). Of the many startling revelations, we noticed there were few national flags on display, at least when one compared the displays to home sweet redneck home.

The same, I found, was true in England and Scotland. They are fiercely proud of their heritage, don't get them wrong. They just don't wear it on their pole.

What I had initially noticed and later confirmed was not a marked strangeness about the world outside the States, but an insanity within our borders, practiced by the hyper-nationalistic and foisted upon the rest. After 9/11, it got especially bad. I noticed the lag issue tended to mark aggressive tendencies: the bigger the flag on the vehicle, the bigger the dick behind the wheel. (Has anyone else noticed this?)

Ever since I made the revelation about flags in general, I've been struggling to find a derogatory term to append to the hyper-nationalist in general, flaggers in particular. "Flaggers" was my first attempt, but it just didn't bear the bile I felt.

These people are flag zealots. Why not contract that to "flaggots?" As in "defaming flaggots?" Their displays, after all, more closely approximate defamation than respect. Pronounce it "d'faming flaggots" and you should provoke their ire at least; with most of those dickless wonders, being referred to as something akin to homosexual represents the ultimate insult. In fact, I may just throw in the non-sequitor "clock sucklers" just to spice things up.

Flaggots. I fucking despise.

Just thought I'd share.


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