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peristaltor ([personal profile] peristaltor) wrote2007-09-28 12:11 pm

Codifying the Profane

I wrote an op-ed piece in my high school paper asking that, given the divergence of culture outside the classroom and the wide range of language acceptable to those cultures, should the school wish students to refrain from "foul language and profanity," they had an obligation to list those words deemed unacceptable and to make that list available to students.

I thought it was a reasonable request. So did Congress.

Steven Pinker gave me a heads-up on this in his lecture last Wednesday. After Bono made his now-famous "fucking brilliant" exclamation on last October's Golden Globe Awards, the phones lit up with complaints. The FCC tried to fine NBC for allowing the comment, but couldn't. It turned out one could say the f-word provided it wasn't used in a prurient manner. As uttered, "fucking brilliant" turns the f-bomb into an adverb modifying "brilliant," a use not prohibited by law.

Enter Congress. Representative Doug Ose (R (Duh) - CA) introduced The Clean Airwaves Act, an amendment to the FCC code:

108th CONGRESS

1st Session

H. R. 3687


To amend section 1464 of title 18, United States Code, to provide for the punishment of certain profane broadcasts, and for other purposes.

IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES

December 8, 2003


Mr. OSE (for himself and Mr. SMITH of Texas) introduced the following bill; which was referred to the Committee on the Judiciary

A BILL


To amend section 1464 of title 18, United States Code, to provide for the punishment of certain profane broadcasts, and for other purposes.

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, That section 1464 of title 18, United States Code, is amended--

(1) by inserting `(a)' before `Whoever'; and

(2) by adding at the end the following:


`(b) As used in this section, the term `profane', used with respect to language, includes the words `shit', `piss', `fuck', `cunt', `asshole', and the phrases `cock sucker', `mother fucker', and `ass hole', compound use (including hyphenated compounds) of such words and phrases with each other or with other words or phrases, and other grammatical forms of such words and phrases (including verb, adjective, gerund, participle, and infinitive forms).'.


They went to a lot of trouble to avoid a repeat of Bono's joyous exclamation, didn't they? Ah, but as Professor Pinker noted, the Act didn't list the adverbial form, the one Bono actually used. So much for good intentions.




In a slightly related vein, I've discovered students get away with quite a bit when their Dad is a teacher. Me and my big mouth used to be in demand in high school, usually for friends who didn't want to make fools of themselves in front of large assemblies. I had no such reservations. One such opportunity was thrust my way quickly. A friend was supposed to do an introductory speech for a "mutual" friend. I qualified the relationship because the first friend had no idea the guy he was to introduce had just attempted impropriaties with my then girlfriend.

I figured, Why not? Here's my chance at some revenge. Heh, heh, heh.

Oh, I introduced him to the assembly -- to the entire school, in fact. I pretty much called him knuckle-dragging idiot and a horndog near-rapist, but in a snarky way. It's amazing what you can get away with if you make people laugh. He didn't like it at all. He didn't realize women will occasionally complain to others about mistreatment. Hey, I gave him the chance to review my intro. Of course, I mentioned this about a minute before we were to be seated. My bad. . . .

Well, he was elected, so he got over his anger quickly. Next year, a friend asked the same thing. I guess she forgot what I actually said about Bob, and remembered only that people laughed and he won. I honestly can't remember what I said about Diane, but she won. . . and didn't like my intro either (she and my sister were pretty close). I feel a bit bad about that one. I honestly thought she knew she was asking not for outright praise, but for a roast.

Sure enough, the next year (I had graduated, but had younger friends) Matt asked if I would like to help him with his intro. He blurted some rough ideas to get me interested, something about firmness. I didn't have time to really help, though. He was on his own.

His speech didn't go as well. He was suspended.

About that time I started to realize exactly how afraid of my Dad the administration was. Dad at one time was responsible for filing five of the eight official complaints against the District. He was chief union contract negotiator for the District as well. A bit of a rabble-rouser, Dad. Nothing in Matt's speech exceeded the boundaries of taste more than my two turns at the podium; but Matt's father worked elsewhere.

You can read Matt's speech if you like. You see, Matt did okay. He did lose some of his appeals over his disciplinary action, but it gathered a bit of press . . . since he ultimately lost in the United States Supreme Court. He gripes about losing, though he should probably apologize to all his classmates for turning their graduation ceremony into a media circus. Matt was never shy about his shameless self-promotion.

Neither have I, of course. But I got away with more. Either nobody cared, or they were too intimidated to mention anything. I may never know which.