To Those With Flags Way Too Fucking Big
Jul. 29th, 2005 11:33 amIn 1980, I traveled for the first time to a real foreign country, Mexico (as opposed to a sort-of foreign Canada). Of the many startling revelations, we noticed there were few national flags on display, at least when one compared the displays to home sweet redneck home.
The same, I found, was true in England and Scotland. They are fiercely proud of their heritage, don't get them wrong. They just don't wear it on their pole.
What I had initially noticed and later confirmed was not a marked strangeness about the world outside the States, but an insanity within our borders, practiced by the hyper-nationalistic and foisted upon the rest. After 9/11, it got especially bad. I noticed the lag issue tended to mark aggressive tendencies: the bigger the flag on the vehicle, the bigger the dick behind the wheel. (Has anyone else noticed this?)
Ever since I made the revelation about flags in general, I've been struggling to find a derogatory term to append to the hyper-nationalist in general, flaggers in particular. "Flaggers" was my first attempt, but it just didn't bear the bile I felt.
These people are flag zealots. Why not contract that to "flaggots?" As in "defaming flaggots?" Their displays, after all, more closely approximate defamation than respect. Pronounce it "d'faming flaggots" and you should provoke their ire at least; with most of those dickless wonders, being referred to as something akin to homosexual represents the ultimate insult. In fact, I may just throw in the non-sequitor "clock sucklers" just to spice things up.
Flaggots. I fucking despise.
Just thought I'd share.
The same, I found, was true in England and Scotland. They are fiercely proud of their heritage, don't get them wrong. They just don't wear it on their pole.
What I had initially noticed and later confirmed was not a marked strangeness about the world outside the States, but an insanity within our borders, practiced by the hyper-nationalistic and foisted upon the rest. After 9/11, it got especially bad. I noticed the lag issue tended to mark aggressive tendencies: the bigger the flag on the vehicle, the bigger the dick behind the wheel. (Has anyone else noticed this?)
Ever since I made the revelation about flags in general, I've been struggling to find a derogatory term to append to the hyper-nationalist in general, flaggers in particular. "Flaggers" was my first attempt, but it just didn't bear the bile I felt.
These people are flag zealots. Why not contract that to "flaggots?" As in "defaming flaggots?" Their displays, after all, more closely approximate defamation than respect. Pronounce it "d'faming flaggots" and you should provoke their ire at least; with most of those dickless wonders, being referred to as something akin to homosexual represents the ultimate insult. In fact, I may just throw in the non-sequitor "clock sucklers" just to spice things up.
Flaggots. I fucking despise.
Just thought I'd share.