After L. Ron & Ayn Were Done Screwing Each Other. . . .

. . . They must have plotted on how to screw everyone else.

Rand: "I wonder if I could take the worst, most selfish misguided people and make them worse. Oh that would be delicious."

Right? It only sounds logical.

Dear Comcast,

Thank you for sending one of your promotional representatives to our neighborhood a few days ago. At least I think he was one of yours; he had an Xfinity folder, and seemed to know our billing name based on our address. He didn't bother to introduce himself, though, and after he saw us sitting out front – again, without introduction – decided to ignore our NO SOLICITORS sign and approach us. (He couldn't have missed the sign, since it is on the same sign that lists our house number. Oh, and The Wife™ was sitting directly below it.)

Also, thanks for the promotional Free Movie Coupon. I guess all we had to do to use it was to download some premium movie content and stuff the filled out thing with our next bill to enjoy it. Only later, I'm sure, would we have been informed that the coupon had expired three weeks before your rep handed it to us, and we thus would have had to pay for that "free" movie. Classy.

Actually, it was after we noticed how out-of-date the coupon was that I realized the rep must have been from Comcast. That, and the fact that just seconds before the Rep approached our neighbor's house and asked the lady of the house for the last billing name, her husband . . . her late husband. Gee, could that have been why she cancelled your service, the fact that you haven't changed the billing information?

These either incompetent or malicious actions are exactly the sort of overcharging, misdirecting dick moves your company have practiced as long as we have been forced to accept cable in this sorry and blighted city.

Sincerely,

Mr. & Mrs. Perry Staltor

PS. Please fuck off and die. Perhaps then a decent cable company can service Seattle.