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peristaltorI love market research opinion polls, but not because I am lonely and will talk to anyone who calls me (well, not just because). Market research has got to be the one field where, if you do not know what exactly you are doing, everyone with half a brain will realize it.
As more and more companies get paranoid about their corporate images, more and more marketeers put on their mouse-eared dunce caps and try to make an impact in the world of public opinion. This has resulted in more and more poorly written market research, filled with questions becoming increasingly impossible to answer as they are asked.
The problem? Often one cannot qualify one's opinions in a scientifically measurable and scaleable fashion. Many times this is due to one's intimate or non-existant knowledge of the subject. I can't know how reliable anything is without Consumer Reports or an equivalent; yet many marketeers ask if something seems reliable after simply showing you an ad for the product or service.
Other times the question is impossible to answer, let alone quantify. My most immediate example of this came just last night. Some poor phone jockey called at 10pm his time (Milwaukee) to probe my important and earth-shattering opinions about my electric utility. I didn't mind; I am, after all, a big fan of electricity and somewhat obsessed about its generation and distribution.
He first asked me which utility provided my power. Fair enough. I then had to rate my overall opinion of Seattle City Light. I guess this is fair, though one may be hard-pressed to know why. How often are the lights on? Do they ever glow dimly or too brightly? Have CRTs ever exploded in your face because of power surges? If your general rate of Bad Things Happening is low, then there is really no reason to have an opinion of your power utility. City Light does one thing I like; I give extra money each month to help sponsor an alternative/renewable electricity fund. Since they offer that -- and many utilities don't -- they got a 6, one tick positive tick in the scale over "whatever."
He then asked me to rate my happiness factor when it came to my utility's customer service.
Huh?
For anyone out there who hasn't had any problems with their power, here's the problem. Again, unless you have a problem with your power like the ones I cited above, or the delivery and/or billing thereof, there is no way to gauge the crack staff at the local Customer Service Team. The power conducts itself through a wire. You use it, if you need, and are billed for that power you use. You can live in the same house for decades and never deal with CS.
Meaning if you haven't had any problems with your power or billing, you have probably had no experience with CS and therefore have reason to form an opinion of CS.
Marketers know this. They're actually not interested in your opinion of Joe Schmoe in the call center; they are interested only in the corporate image Joe and his minions may have had the misfortune to form. Therefore they skirt the issue and ask generally about your opinion hoping they can flesh out a trend of Schmoe-y encounters and magically weigh whether or not it's time to bite the bullet and farm out the call center to Bangalore.
Luckily, that question was easy to answer. I chose the middle of the ten-point scale, a "neither good nor poor" opinion. No opinion is just that, ain't it?
Next, the questions started getting next to impossible to answer. Would I say the rates they charge are (four point scale from expensive to cheap, with "somewhat reasonable" and "very reasonable" in the middle).
Why is that impossible to answer? Because, folks, I can't exactly shop around for cheaper power. The line into my meter is the only line available. That fact makes just about every PUD a monopoly. Now, I happen to know that we in the Northwest pay about as little for power as just about any other area of the country, about 4 cents per kilowatt/hour. Nationally, that makes our power dirt cheap.
Still, remember that there is only one power line into our houses, and the price your utility charges is the price you pay for power used. Since you can't get power otherwise -- say, have UPS drop off a cardboard box filled with a megawatt or two of 60 cycle 120ac every month or two -- the price you pay is the only price available. Reasonable implies one can reason with the provider. With electricity, you can't.
Think of this another way. Asking whether a monopoly-controlled price is reasonable is directly akin to asking, "How long is a mile? Would you say it's a) much shorter than a mile; b) somewhat shorter than a mile; c) about a mile. . . ." You get the idea.
I decided to hasten the end to this deteriorating interview by just going with "reasonable." The poor phone guy needed me to make a distintion, however, between "somewhat reasonable" and "very reasonable." I couldn't budge from "reasonable," given the logic of power pricing, and told him so.
"I need you to make a choice," he said.
I answered, "That's your problem. Next question." Poor guy hung up after a few more of these responses.
The problem here is that the answer I just gave is recorded as refused to answer on his little form. I didn't refuse. I couldn't answer the question as they asked it. That is very different indeed, and needs, IMHO, to be indicated on the form. Otherwise the data they extract from the forms is worse than sketchy. Truly poor phrasing in opinion polls has been shown to reveal trends opposite to opinions that people actually hold.
Also, I once sat in on a poll at one of the mall-based research centers. After all, I was supposed to be taking a cash deposit to the bank, and still had some time to kill.
This poll involved home adhesives and my experience and opinions relating thereto. I thought things were going to take a freaky turn when the interviewer said, "Okay, now we are going to talk about cocks."
He must have seen the look in my face, because he clarified that the questions related to "tube-held gooey sticky stuff." Oh, caulks. We laughed at the misunderstanding and continued.
He presented a stack of small cards, each with a number and a common problem one has with such adhesives. I was to read the card, tell him the number of the card, and rate my personal identification with the problem on a scale. Simple enough, right?
Trouble was, many if not most of the cards could be interpretted both for caulks and cocks. Use a little imagination -- and I have plenty -- and these cards would make great material in a stand-up or a sitcom. I shared why I was laughing my ass off and pretty soon I shared them all, answering them on the way, getting us both a good laugh. After the interview, I asked if he had any extras. He let me keep the stack.
So, on a scale from one to five, with one being no problem at all to five being a major problem, how would you folks rate these problems often encountered with cocks?
I for one can attest to that last.
As more and more companies get paranoid about their corporate images, more and more marketeers put on their mouse-eared dunce caps and try to make an impact in the world of public opinion. This has resulted in more and more poorly written market research, filled with questions becoming increasingly impossible to answer as they are asked.
The problem? Often one cannot qualify one's opinions in a scientifically measurable and scaleable fashion. Many times this is due to one's intimate or non-existant knowledge of the subject. I can't know how reliable anything is without Consumer Reports or an equivalent; yet many marketeers ask if something seems reliable after simply showing you an ad for the product or service.
Other times the question is impossible to answer, let alone quantify. My most immediate example of this came just last night. Some poor phone jockey called at 10pm his time (Milwaukee) to probe my important and earth-shattering opinions about my electric utility. I didn't mind; I am, after all, a big fan of electricity and somewhat obsessed about its generation and distribution.
He first asked me which utility provided my power. Fair enough. I then had to rate my overall opinion of Seattle City Light. I guess this is fair, though one may be hard-pressed to know why. How often are the lights on? Do they ever glow dimly or too brightly? Have CRTs ever exploded in your face because of power surges? If your general rate of Bad Things Happening is low, then there is really no reason to have an opinion of your power utility. City Light does one thing I like; I give extra money each month to help sponsor an alternative/renewable electricity fund. Since they offer that -- and many utilities don't -- they got a 6, one tick positive tick in the scale over "whatever."
He then asked me to rate my happiness factor when it came to my utility's customer service.
Huh?
For anyone out there who hasn't had any problems with their power, here's the problem. Again, unless you have a problem with your power like the ones I cited above, or the delivery and/or billing thereof, there is no way to gauge the crack staff at the local Customer Service Team. The power conducts itself through a wire. You use it, if you need, and are billed for that power you use. You can live in the same house for decades and never deal with CS.
Meaning if you haven't had any problems with your power or billing, you have probably had no experience with CS and therefore have reason to form an opinion of CS.
Marketers know this. They're actually not interested in your opinion of Joe Schmoe in the call center; they are interested only in the corporate image Joe and his minions may have had the misfortune to form. Therefore they skirt the issue and ask generally about your opinion hoping they can flesh out a trend of Schmoe-y encounters and magically weigh whether or not it's time to bite the bullet and farm out the call center to Bangalore.
Luckily, that question was easy to answer. I chose the middle of the ten-point scale, a "neither good nor poor" opinion. No opinion is just that, ain't it?
Next, the questions started getting next to impossible to answer. Would I say the rates they charge are (four point scale from expensive to cheap, with "somewhat reasonable" and "very reasonable" in the middle).
Why is that impossible to answer? Because, folks, I can't exactly shop around for cheaper power. The line into my meter is the only line available. That fact makes just about every PUD a monopoly. Now, I happen to know that we in the Northwest pay about as little for power as just about any other area of the country, about 4 cents per kilowatt/hour. Nationally, that makes our power dirt cheap.
Still, remember that there is only one power line into our houses, and the price your utility charges is the price you pay for power used. Since you can't get power otherwise -- say, have UPS drop off a cardboard box filled with a megawatt or two of 60 cycle 120ac every month or two -- the price you pay is the only price available. Reasonable implies one can reason with the provider. With electricity, you can't.
Think of this another way. Asking whether a monopoly-controlled price is reasonable is directly akin to asking, "How long is a mile? Would you say it's a) much shorter than a mile; b) somewhat shorter than a mile; c) about a mile. . . ." You get the idea.
I decided to hasten the end to this deteriorating interview by just going with "reasonable." The poor phone guy needed me to make a distintion, however, between "somewhat reasonable" and "very reasonable." I couldn't budge from "reasonable," given the logic of power pricing, and told him so.
"I need you to make a choice," he said.
I answered, "That's your problem. Next question." Poor guy hung up after a few more of these responses.
The problem here is that the answer I just gave is recorded as refused to answer on his little form. I didn't refuse. I couldn't answer the question as they asked it. That is very different indeed, and needs, IMHO, to be indicated on the form. Otherwise the data they extract from the forms is worse than sketchy. Truly poor phrasing in opinion polls has been shown to reveal trends opposite to opinions that people actually hold.
Also, I once sat in on a poll at one of the mall-based research centers. After all, I was supposed to be taking a cash deposit to the bank, and still had some time to kill.
This poll involved home adhesives and my experience and opinions relating thereto. I thought things were going to take a freaky turn when the interviewer said, "Okay, now we are going to talk about cocks."
He must have seen the look in my face, because he clarified that the questions related to "tube-held gooey sticky stuff." Oh, caulks. We laughed at the misunderstanding and continued.
He presented a stack of small cards, each with a number and a common problem one has with such adhesives. I was to read the card, tell him the number of the card, and rate my personal identification with the problem on a scale. Simple enough, right?
Trouble was, many if not most of the cards could be interpretted both for caulks and cocks. Use a little imagination -- and I have plenty -- and these cards would make great material in a stand-up or a sitcom. I shared why I was laughing my ass off and pretty soon I shared them all, answering them on the way, getting us both a good laugh. After the interview, I asked if he had any extras. He let me keep the stack.
So, on a scale from one to five, with one being no problem at all to five being a major problem, how would you folks rate these problems often encountered with cocks?
Manufacturer doesn't guarantee results
Excess product oozes out at seam
Hard to smooth out without spreading too wide
Product can ruin your clothing if dripped or spilled
You get a spurt of product when you reach the end of the tube
Packaging is not child-proof
Difficult to deposit product only where desired
Goes on too thick
Don't know if product shrinks when drying
Is difficult to clean up
Some products are stronger than I need for my purpose
Difficult to restart flow of product if container is set aside for a while
Package not date coded for freshness
Does not flow out of tube evenly -- you get a bumpy bead
Does not last long enough -- has to be replaced too soon
You need to find an especially long nail to puncture tube
I'm afraid to store product in my home before I'm ready to use it
Don't know how strong it will be in a damp basement area
I don't understand the differences among brands
Leaves air pockets between two joined surfaces
Loses potency over time
I for one can attest to that last.