It Seems Our Seattle Police Department Has a Sense of Humor

[peristaltor]

Which is, all told, a good thing. Of course, it's just when they respond to a Colbert gag. But still:

We continue to investigate the sale of marijuana to minors, and we certainly do not encourage the use of silly branding like “Bubba Kush” and “Alien Dog.” If it were up to us, pot brands would have names like “Remember to Call Your Mother” and “You Don’t Want to Grow Up to Be a Drummer, Do You?”

You also indicated our educational material to Hempfest attendees—instructing them to “listen to Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon at a reasonable volume”—would impact their ability to appreciate guitarist David Gilmour’s “sick solo based on the pentatonic scale.”. . .

We sincerely hope this clarifies any confusion for you, Mr. Colbert . As to your final point, debating whether marijuana decriminalization will provide a much-needed tax revenue boost, we can confirm that Initiative 502 has been a boon for our local restaurant industry. Currently, you have to get on a three-month-long waiting list just to order a pizza.