Less smart = More Grouchiness

[peristaltor]

I may have mentioned recently (or not; it's hard to remember) that the wife and I are considering a smart car. For the uninitiated, that's a "Swatch Mercedes Art Car." We've gone to the local "dealership" and kicked some tires. We like. The more we asked about the product they carried, however, the more rumors convinced us not to plunk down the cash so very fast. These rumors have born buds, if not fruit.

Check out a new smart venture, smart USA. Note the "street smart" logo at the bottom left. Click for the tour map. Note the Seattle (upper northwest corner destination of the road trip itinerary) and mouse over. "Reservation holders (those that lay down nearly a hundred bucks) are encouraged to attend the event by their dealer candidate. . . ." Interesting, no?

You see, it seems the local "dealership" has been importing European TwoFour smart cars through a grey market import outfit contracted by ZAP.


The bastards even branded it as their own!

Sadly, in my experience, ZAP is currently one of the most evil companies in existence. I'll share more formative experience on this later. As to the smart cars, they have been importing either used/refurbished or newish cars to California and upgrading the European models to US safety standards. This import/upgrade work adds about $8,000 USD to the final retail cost, hence the local current $25,000 price of a smart.

The smart USA, however, represents a different beast. This would be a car manufactured for the US market. The rumor mill has provided caveats. The engine will probably be different from the Mercedes 3-cylinder, made by a known Japanese auto firm (both Izuzu and Mitsubishi have been mentioned by those more knowledgeable than I). That's fine by me. What that means for the US smarts, however, could be troubling.

First of all, the Mercedes-powered cars have been around since 2002. One would assume the bugs would have been worked out of the propulsion system by now. To install a completely new engine means, no matter how advanced the manufacture, there will be a shake-down period as flaws in the manufacture worm their way to the surface. As enthusiastic a purveyor of new tech I am, my days as a beta-tester for big-ticket items is way over. (More on that later, I promise. And it does involve ZAP!)

Secondly, the smart USA site has some disturbing info. The FAQ section lists the mileage as "40 plus mpg under normal driving conditions and current standards." Pardon my expletive, but what the flying fecal fuck?!? The grey market smarts imported by ZAP get 52 in the city and up to 62 on the highway. Since when does farming out engine production drop the efficiency to below that of my neighbor's old Toyota wagon?!? I realize that the current US system of selling cars through exclusive franchises has warped consumer choice for decades now -- and may be almost wholly responsible for the devastating state of the US transportation fleet as we know it; but come on, new cars are supposed to employ new technology and therefore do shit better than the cars they succeeded. Cramming less stuff into a rig that takes more juice to move that stuff ain't progress!

I can speculate on only a few possible reasons for such a asshatish decision. We Yanks tend to equate big with more expensive, not recognizing that most things require more technical savvy to produce small. Therefore, we (and by "we" I mean "people other than I") buy the big rigs for outrageous prices because we buy cars by the pound, even though they cost about the same to develop and produce as the smaller drivey thingeys. Therefore, small = cheap to the Yank brain, and therefore a cheap engine will have to do.

Also, the testing (still in progress according to the web site) continues. These new smarts might be just as fuel efficient as the grey-market imports. It remains to be seen. I do hope so. Because, if they do prove just as fuel efficient as the European models and cost half as much as the true European imports, I can buy one and have enough left over for a Vectrix!



Again, more first-hand testimony about the Vectrix . . . later. Hint: It's very cool!


X-posted to peak_oil